Blue tastes like a big juicey blueberry
Blue smells like fresh air in the blue morning sky
Blue looks like a big blue angel
Blue sounds like a blue angel flying across town
Blue feels like a big soft blue chair
Michael wrote this poem for me in school because blue is my favorite color. Now keep in mind, he’s 9. It’s just adorable, though. I was cleaning up and found it (almost threw it away on accident) so I decided to share it with anyone else who might need a minute of mindlessness.
I’ve tried so hard to keep in contact with my family and try to make connections that apparently weren’t there. Today I pretty much have no connection with my mother or my brother. After my mom did what she did, she tried to compare it with me getting pregnant at 15. Yes, she compared hocking my iPhone, to the apparent wrong I did her of getting pregnant. I’m guessing she feels so wronged because the hours she spent on the computer ignoring my existance made her feel as though she did everything she could to prevent it. And apparently she and my brother have been resenting me behind my back, since my brother thought then that I was ‘out of control’ and feels the same way about my kids now.
I’ve had a hard time trying to keep family with my brother. He doesn’t care to talk to me or spend time with me, but I was trying to convince myself that was only because we lived so far apart for so long and didn’t talk much either. I guess he holds me accountable for all that, despite the fact that my mom moved me 700 miles away when I was 15, then he moved himself to the east coast 2-3 years later.
I tried, over the phone, to tell my brother how I felt about our fading relationship. I tried to tell him how it seemed we only talked when we needed something and how I wanted to see eachother more. I told him I wanted us to make better efforts to see eachother. About 5 years ago my brother got married and didn’t tell me because he assumed I wouldn’t come. I’m not sure what sister would not come to her brother’s wedding, but I’m not her. If nothing else, I’d at least like to be given the chance to say I can’t make it. Her whole family was there. Her whole family gets all the family treatment, actually. On that phone call he said to me that traveling with infants was too hard and he would come see us more when they were bigger because it would be easier. He should have said what he meant, which was, ‘I don’t like you.’ I tried to tell him it doesn’t get easier as they get older, it’s just a different kind of hard. I tried to tell him that it was a little misleading considering he put them on a plane to California, but couldn’t drive them a few hours.
Yesterday my brother told me a few things. He told me his cats happiness was more important than Corey’s ability to breathe (he’s highly allergic), he told me my kids were out of control (again), he told me my family was a burden on them whenever we visited, and in a round about way told me his true feelings about me. I can’t imagine what it is about me and my family that he hates so much, because it’s definitely obviously so incredible that he simply cannot bear it. That’s fine. Who needs a family anyway? He’s obviously decided that we’re not his family anymore and her family is the end all be all, so he can have them. I’m unbelieveably sad that I’m not going to be there to see/experience my nefews lives. But I’m not going to go through the rest of my life being bullied by someone who doesn’t want me around. Apparently somewhere he got detatched and there’s no fixing it, no matter how much I’d like to. I officially give up.
This past weekend was supposed to be a trip our to Savannah for Michael to thank him for helping me move clients over for E-Starr. I switched from the old, outdated Modernbill 4, to WHMCS and they said it would cost $50 to move clients’ billing information over. I figured, I’d rather give $50 to Michael. So together we moved everything over and so far everything’s pretty much been flawless. So anyway, we picked up the boys a little early from school and headed to Savannah where I had intended to spend some time at the mall, spend some time at Putt Putt, and then go down to River Street for dinner and ice cream and to watch the fireworks. Basically the only thing that went right was the mall.
We went to the mall and had lunch at Macaroni Grill, then went in through the bookstore. I got some new books! The sequels to my favorite books are out so I picked them up (The Awakening and Stargazer) and then I grabbed another book that looked interesting (Bad Girls Don’t Die). I also picked up this month’s issue of Advanced Photoshop because it has a vexeling tutorial in it. I don’t think I have the talent for vexeling, but I want to give it a shot anyway. Plus, they always come with some nifty brushes and stock photos.
Then I went to get my hair cut. Man, was I scared. I haven’t had my hair cut in a while because they always mess it up. So I went in and told the girl what I wanted and exactly how scared I was. She assured me it would look cute and went to work. When I saw the 8 inch pieces of hair on the floor I nearly cried. The shortest my hair has ever been was when I was 5 I had it spiked (what were my parents thinking?) and it’s been long ever since. So when I was paying Jay said he looked up, but he didn’t realize it was me standing there. He really seems to like my hair. I like it. I especially like not having to put it up all the time because it’s so hot. The hottest part has always been my shoulders and my back right below my neck. It’s really great to have it uncovered.
We stopped in at American Eagle and I got some new tank tops and a couple of nice shirts. I ended up going out yesterday and getting some new laundry detergent because my favorite shirts are looking trashed and I don’t want that to happen to the new ones. After that we went and got my favorite Pomegranate and Berry smoothie from Orange Julius (which I can only find in the Oglethorpe Mall) and headed out to River Street to try to beat the crowds. When we got there Jay took a lot of pictures, then we went off the river to eat at Outback. We went back to the river to watch the fireworks, but gave up on them about 30 minutes after they were supposed to start and went to the candy store. Then we headed home.
On Saturday we went to A Taste of Beaufort and taste tested the foods from all the restaurants in the area. It was pretty good, but we ended up wasting a lot of money because you have to buy tickets and we bought too many. The boys didn’t get to play, either, because it was $10 to play on the bounce houses. Crazy! Jay talked me into getting a Mojito at the Budweiser tent and it was terrible. He decided he was going to drink it and about threw up when he tried it. It tasted like I had just brushed my teeth and then drank Sprite.
After that we headed to Hilton Head to the Verizon store. My mother’s day gift was a new BlackBerry Storm. I was really frustrated with not being able to do any work when I was away from the house and getting lost at times. I tried to get my iPhone back (as you probably read before) but that wasn’t going to happen. Not that it would work here anyway. The only thing missing for Mother’s Day is my card, which I assume will magically appear this Sunday. Speaking of, I need to get the ones I bought out!
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